Movie Critic Monday – Pitch Perfect

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Pitch Perfect

All this movie taught me is that the perfect guy has juice pouches and Rocky. That’s all you need to know.

For real though, Jesse is the perfect guy and like a normal girl Becca pushes him away cause shes scared of relationships. That’s very understandable seeing as her parents got a divorce and her dad married Satan.

So, how do you win that perfect guy back? Oh just watch breakfast club and then sing the theme song at nationals, and then win nationals.

Why i love this movie:

-Acca-scuse me?

-acca-believe it!

-Alright acca-bitches!

-“you have a toner for Jesse”

“I JUST GOT HIT BY FLYING MEXICAN FOOD!”

 

I hope that one day you will all find your Jesse and have tons of Acca-children

 

 

*Arianna*

Rage.

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Alright. This one got me a little bit pissed off. My roommate has been talking to this dude for a month maybe now. He seems like such a chill dude and pretty cool and whatever. They have made out and potentially fooled around a little, but no sex.

So the other day this douche-bag asks her if they can hang out once they get back from spring break. She agrees and says they can chill and just watch movies. This man has the audacity to ask her “just watch movies…. are you on your period or something?”

It gets worse.

After she said no, he then asks, “well are you pregnant?” And he thought it was a funny joke.

What in your god damn right mind makes you think that that is something that you can ever even come close to asking a girl? What in the.. I cannot even express the built up anger I have towards this right now. It is not ok to ask someone that. And why the absolute fuck does it matter if she is? SHE JUST WANTS TO WATCH MOVIES DICKHEAD. I am actually fuming right now. I am actually so upset I think I could break something. I don’t understand why I guy would ask that. Especially if they aren’t dating, nor have they had sex, nor have they really fooled around enough that he should be wanting to fool around again. Men have no sense of what is and isn’t ok to say.

The next time I see this mother fucker I definitely am asking him “well, are you just always this soft or something?”

**roxxxy

Aside

I just want to say that when I get older I hope to get all the young folks arrested for the shit I did. Ain’t nobody going to suspect cute little grandma to do anything. Well, I also hope to have tattooed sleeves…. fuck it bitches!

 

**roxxy** 

Convenient, please.

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If a guy ever tells you that he downgraded from you because it’s convenient, understand that his dick is no longer convenient for you either. There is no reason that ladies should have to feel that they are less than this man. There is no reason at all that a guy should ever treat a woman this way. And fyi, if he does, HE AIN’T A MAN HONEY. Men are supposed to hold doors for you, buy you shit, make you smile out of nowhere, and be fucking great in bed. The biggest one of those has to be the smile one, because without that, what the hell is the point? With millions of men out there, don’t you ever settle less. Females, we are the ones with the power, please don’t settle for convenient. Be the “reacher” in the relationship, not the fucking settler. 

**Roxxxy**

Thirsty Thursday – Robert Downey Jr.

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RDJ is 48 years old. 48 YEARS OLD! Damn he is fine for being as old as my parents.

From 1996 through 2001, Downey was arrested numerous times on drug-related charges including cocaine, heroin and marijuana and went several times through drug treatment programs unsuccessfully. In 2001 he was dismissed from the TV show Ally McBeal for walking around Culver City (just outside LA) barefoot for being under the influence of cocaine. In November of 2004 RDJ told Oprah that he was ready to turn his life around after he lost his career and wife. So he checked himself into rehab, got better, had a bunch of roles in movies, and them BAM! He’s Iron Man

Robert-downey-jr-2011

 

How can you not love Iron Man?

 

 

*Arianna*

Old ladies at restaurants

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Old ladies are the worst when they go out to eat. They seriously should not be allowed to go out to eat without someone who’s 40 or younger. I’m not kidding. They will find the tiniest thing to bitch about.

“The music is too loud.” Or “I didn’t get enough fries..” if you want to come back here and make 10 extra fries be my guest, otherwise shut the fuck up and enjoy your goddamn meal.

Another thing I hate about them is that they tip like shit. Thank you so much for the $1 tip on a $25 bill. I really fucking appreciate it! I hope you realize that waitresses live off of their damn tips. That $1 will not help me pay my rent, or my electric bill, or even dinner (unless I do the dollar menu somewhere..). So if you are going to bitch to me about the little fucking things you can leave.

*Arianna*